Random Thoughts 9/5/2013
How to describe her…..how to find the right words….let’s begin:
A woman with a beauty beyond your wildest dreams, loyalty that knows no bounds, eyes and smile that could melt the coldest man’s soul, and a heart big enough to embrace the world. From the instant I met this woman in October 2011, I was hooked onto a beautifully magical journey which still continues to this day and I hope does not have an ending. Throughout the duration of time that I have known her, I have come to love her, honor her, know her, deeper and better than anyone I’ve ever met in my life. Every kiss is a vitamin for my delicate soul, each embraceful hug a warm blanket for my heart and body no matter how cold life may become, each smile good enough to fuel me for the events of even the toughest of days. Sounds kinda too good to be true right??? Wrong.This indeed does exist more than just myth, but in reality. I’m not sure what the future has in store for her or I, but one thing I do know for sure: we face it together, and my love and feelings for her are everlasting no matter what the case. She forever is imprinted on my life now. Like a tattoo I got placed on my heart, but with no pain whatsoever. Who is this perfect amazing angelic woman you ask? Well I’ll tell you……
She is my Becca, adorable cutie mimi, meemer da baber and beeber da mamer, and more historically, my Bequita <3
Dedicated To: Rebecca Chavez :)
From: Lucas Hidalgo (Bee, beeber, chubby baby, toof, Peter Rabbit)
Random Thoughts: 09/03/2013
Let’s see if I still remember how to do these things….
So life has been treating me like a roller coaster in this past year, filled with so many ups and downs at unpredictable times, I feel like I’m on space mountain at disneyland where it’s pitch black in darkness and not knowing what the next turn will bring, wonderin if it’s over or not. The actual ride is a different story, I love that ride hahaha but anyways, it’s a similar comparison. One minute I’ll be enjoyin life with my friends at work, though I never get to hang out with them, and with my family and brothers, and of course my Becca. Next thing I know, I almost lost her. We give ourselves a second chance to try and make things work, which lifts me back up, next thing I know my dad still treats me like I’m 13 years old. Truth is, it frustrates me out of my mind, all of these unexpected tugs and pulls in different directions. Every time I want to go out with Becca, it’s always like pulling teeth, like a super complex CIA mission to get him to say yes. It’s pretty sad actually, especially at my age, that I have to act and describe it like this. What my dad doesn’t realize by doing that, is that he is alienating me to a point where I would fear visiting him in my older age. I feel like nothing I do is good enough, or I’m always gonna have something to do in his eyes, especially when I wanna go out. As if I can never just have fun without any worries of having to get something done for him afterwards. It’s never worry free. And on top of that, I try and try at school and I can still hear his words of “failure” and all kinds of hurtful saying being thrown at me when I get C’s in school after experience engineering-difficult classes. I think he brought me to a point where, now that I finally have a quarter of a Dean’s List worthy GPA, my emotions aren’t as happy as they should be. I see it more like “finally my dad can’t criticize me” instead of “hell yes! I got A’s”. But anyways coming back to things, all of these troubles indirectly get place upon my Becca because then we can’t see each other as often. I feel so thin, like I’m in one of those old school torture devices where my limbs are being pulled in different directions, because on one side I have my left arm and leg being pulled by my dad, and trying to work around him and make him happy, dealing with his bitchiness, and in the other side I have Becca who gets upset and sad and I feel like I’m depressing her from my problems with my dad, to a point where she questions me or us or whatever, pulling my right arm and leg. This makes me feel like the worst one of the 3 of us because I’m caught in the middle, and it kills me a little bit each day having to deal with it and cope with the consequences that may result. And eventually, I get exhausted and tired of fighting the good fight when it’s tearing my limbs apart, figuratively. And I totally get how it can be hard for someone to understand. I just hope that it can be clearly seen just how hard I do try to make both parties happy as best I can within my power, and how much I struggle emotionally each day. I just pray it’s not this way forever….
When someone catches you in a lie
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